The Dark Night Of The Soul—Survival Guide

The Dark Night Of The Soul—Survival Guide—The Dark Night of the Soul is a period of time in a person’s life when a lot of difficult experiences will happen, to make them grow spiritually, find their purpose in life, pay heavy karma, and understand deep karmic and spiritual lessons. Here are nine simple steps to help you navigate your way through this unknown and uncertain time in your life.

“You become the wounded healer,someone who has

made the descent and knows the territory. You take on

depth of colour and range of feeling. Your intelligence

is now more deeply rooted and not dependent only on

facts and reason. Your darkness has given you character

and colour and capacity. Now you are free to make a real

contribution. It is a gift of your dark night of the soul!”

—Thomas Moore

1—Educate Yourself On The Dark Night Of The Soul.

The more you know about The Dark Night of the Soul, the more ease you will find navigating your way through it. Most people have not heard about this ascent to higher consciousness because most people do not have the privilege of experiencing an ego death in this life time.  They stay in the lower vibrational energy field of everyday living, they never venture into the unknown and stay tethered to the constraints of societal norms and social conditioning that they have been accustomed to. In order to truly wrap your mind around the awakening promised by The Dark Night Of The Soul, you have to understand what is happening to you during the experience. Otherwise, you will feel like you are going insane!

2—Surrender, Lean Into The Darkness And Trust The Process.

Let’s be clear—the idea of “surrendering” at its core is not a sign of weakness but rather it is the willingness to meet life as it is.  It is a time where you are being asked to stop fighting with or trying to change what was and allow yourself to be fully in the moment and move differently.  It requires you to have the courage to let go.  You must learn the steps to dance instead of battle with the ego.  It is in the spaciousness of the dance where you learn to surrender, to create boundaries and experience freedoms.  This process will not feel natural, everything inside you will want to fight this deep transformation. You will try with all of your might to stop the process, to will it away, push it away, or pray it away. But, the more you do this, the more suffering your will endure. It is the irony of all ironies. Once you surrender, lean in and trust the process you will learn to navigate your way in the darkness.  It is here in these moments where you will have ultimately alchemized the dark to light.  This is when you will experience a profound shift in your life bringing liberation, freedom and healing.  It is in this alchemical reaction you will find that the darkness gives way to the light, your transformation complete, a new way of being is born and your dark night over.

3—Be Kind And Loving Toward Yourself

During this process be gentle, compassionate and forgiving with your entire self.  It is easy to beat yourself up and get lost in the loop of self sabotage, self destruction, negative self talk, toxic behaviors, limiting beliefs and patterns.  You will inherently feel like there is something wrong with you, that you are all alone and that you don’t know what to do change your reality. This can be an opportunity to reparent ones self;  to learn to be understanding, nurturing and patient with yourself and your circumstances.  It is imperative that you recognize that the experience is bigger than you; that you didn’t do anything to cause it, you are not meant to control it and that there is no way around it only through it.

4—Give Yourself Permission To Be Exactly Where You Are

It is important to recognize that you are right where you need to be to evolve. This will be a difficult concept for you to embrace; the process is relentless and all-consuming.  The pain and agony experienced during this phase of growth is excruciating on every level and you will try everything in your power to escape it—remember that your pain has purpose.  You are realigning, un-conditioning, and strengthening your quality of character to align to a higher purpose and calling.  This is painful, allow the pain. Embrace it.  Lean into it.  Explore it. Befriend it. Take rest when it is needed, cry, scream, pound your fists to the earth.  Give yourself permission to be in the moment, commit to it—own it.

5—Stay in Touch With People Who Love You

Many people learn about The Dark Night of the Soul because they know someone who has gone through it. In fact, this may have been how you came to consider the possibility that you are a midst your own Dark Night. A friend or loved one may have told you about what they went through and it resonated with you. If so, this person can be one of your greatest sources of strength as you walk your path. They can serve as a kind of navigation system that will help you keep your orientation during this unknown and uncertain time. It was during this dark and desperate time that I found some of my most great spiritual teachers and influences.  Try not to cut yourself off from the people who love you. You will definitely want to isolate and avoid social interaction during The Dark Night Of The Soul and there is great value in being alone during this experience. However; you need to balance your solitude with healthy interactions to the people who are closest to you. These relationships will serve as a reminder that you are loved and that you are not alone.

6—Pray And Meditate.

In my experience, those who experience The Dark Night Of The Soul are highly attuned, spiritual people. Believe it or not, it is this spirituality that brings about the darkness in the first place. Those who undergo this process have likely been searching for answers to  the bigger questions their entire life. The darkness comes to provide insights and healing. Because you are reading this article, I think it is safe to assume that you are a spiritual person. You recognize that you are a human being having a spiritual experience and not the other way around. I encourage you to pray and meditate and spend time in nature during your Dark Night Of The Soul. When you pray, ask for the strength to endure the pain you are feeling. Ask for guidance and wisdom. Ask to be shown what you are supposed to learn in the darkness. Ask for the ability to appreciate all the things you have to be grateful for in this life. Once you have finished asking all your questions be sure to take the time and listen to the answers.  So often we ask and ask but do not take the space to listen to the answer.  When you meditate, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Go wherever the breath and meditation leads you. You will be amazed at what is revealed to you when you do this practice.  Meditating will create space within your body, your mind and your spirit to align you with the wisdom that you have been seeking.

7—Move Your Body.

When you are going through The Dark Night Of The Soul, you are going to feel heavy, depressed, lethargic, and unmotivated. Even a simple task like holding your head up, taking a shower or even taking a shower can feel like work! Nevertheless, you need to do something to get your body moving. Get out in nature; sit in a park, take walk in your neighborhood, go for a hike on a nearby trail.  Give yourself the opportunity to not only move the body but to move the energy that is being stored in it.  Allow yourself time spent in nature observing her ways, learn to move with the natural rhythms and cycles just as it does.

8—Sleep.

Sleep when you need to. The Dark Night Of The Soul is mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausting. You will feel tired all of the time, no matter how much you sleep you will never feel rested. You will feel overwhelmed and emotional.  Give yourself permission to rest more, to become more mindful  and more intentional when it is time to sleep; create an evening routine with mindfulness exercises and gentle movement.

9—Focus On The Positive.

Positive thinking is essential when you are going through The Dark Night Of The Soul. Of course, it is easier said than done. A major part of this process is to work through the negative experiences you have had in your life. You will want to revisit past traumas, reevaluate the way you were raised, come to terms with the reality of who your parents are, and take stock of your personal failures. It is an important time to to begin the reparenting process.  This can cause feelings of low self-worth, which have a way of perpetuating themselves. While you are in the darkness, it is equally important to make an inventory of your personal assets; your inner strengths and admirable qualities. You will want to revisit the times in your life where you felt the most proud of yourself, the times where you feel authentic and empowered. More often than not we completely overlook our successes, ignore the times in life when we were a good friend, and forget about the moments when we pushed ourselves further than we thought we could go to claim a victory.  During this process it is important to recognize and internally validate all that you have gone through to get to this point on your path; as well as, all that you are navigating in these moments on the path of The Dark Night Of The Soul.