How I Became a Warrior

I became a warrior to find my way in this world; to thrive, not merely survive. 

It took me nine years after the sudden death of my husband to land back in my body, to take my first real deep breath and become the warrior in my own story. 

I remember waking up that particular morning and once again my body was depleted and suffering. I could barely walk across my 800sq ft condo without losing consciousness-- sometimes I did. I was 35 years old; riddled with pain and grief and praying for a way out of the darkness.  

That day I felt different, I knew I had an important decision to make. Sitting at the window sipping my morning coffee, swallowing pills that had been candy coated in promises of a better life. There I sat and watched the world go by in slow motion and I contemplated life and death and the excruciating pain of merely existing. 

It was at this moment that I committed to creating a joy-filled life and became the warrior and the champion of my own story. 

What came next was a F*$#ING challenge. I had no idea how to live a truly happy and healthy life.  I looked for examples of individuals in my family and in my community who had conquered this way of being but found very few to base my journey on. It was then that I realized the importance of being an example of how to live an extraordinary life of simple pleasures, presence and love. 

I made big bold steps into vulnerability and into the unknown. I let go of almost all of the things in my life that felt heavy and were weighing me down; this included people, places, and things. I reconnected with family and friends that had drifted off over the years. I had meaningful conversations with myself, with my God, and with the Creator. I had challenging conversations with family and friends that at the end of the day brought clarity and calm to my being. That cold winter morning, sitting at the window sill was the moment in my personal evolution where my faith outweighed my fear.

I recognized and embodied my Warrior spirit and was compelled to stand up to create meaningful, positive change in my life. I did this with courage, dedication, and vulnerability; in spite of judgment and the criticism of others. I was dedicated to my self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-love. I was willing to clean up and carve out the death and decay that kept me up at night tethered and tied in knots. And I fiercely dove into the depths of my unconscious mind with no hesitation, expectation, or judgment and simply began to unearth my own darkness. That day, I embraced my inner warrior.